


No Whales This Time

by danceswithgary



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Crossover, Dialogue-Only, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-11
Updated: 2009-01-11
Packaged: 2017-10-04 02:39:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danceswithgary/pseuds/danceswithgary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney has a nightmare. Crack!fic crossover with <a href="http:"></a>Ice Men.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Whales This Time

"Rodney! Wake up, buddy!"

"Wha...John! You're here! You're...really here."

"Yeah, I am. Exact same place I was when you went to sleep."

"God, what a nightmare. The worst ever."

"The whale ate you again?"

"No, no whales this time. It was...I was fucking Norina."

"The hell? That was a nightmare? She's your type, Rodney. You were drooling all over her on Taranis."

"Well, it wasn't the fucking exactly. It was where we were...sort of. Some cabin in the woods...in winter. There were stuffed heads of dead animals all over and a chair made of antlers and...guns. Rifles and shotguns and revolvers. A _lot_ of guns."

"You carry a gun every time we go on a mission, Rodney. What's the big deal?"

"I certainly wasn't carrying one in bed. Hello, naked...with Norina."

"Still not really understanding what made it a nightmare. It was a cabin with guns."

"I...I came before she did."

"Jeez, Rodney, it happens. It's not like you don't have hands or a mouth. Setting the bar a little high, don't you think?"

"Yeah, well the reason I came too soon was because Norina distracted me by asking me to leave my wife and run away with her."

"You've never been married."

"I know! It gets worse. She wasn't really Norina, she was someone named Renee and she was my best friend's wife!"

"You were fucking your best friend's wife while you were married. That definitely has nightmare potential, Rodney."

"Did I mention my best friend was in the other room? The room with the guns? And that wasn't the worst part. Because after I came too soon and was busy trying not to end up a total loser in bed, my best friend walked in on us."

"What did I do, come in with one of the guns?"

"No, worse! That's when I started screaming, John. He...he wasn't you!"

**Author's Note:**

> This piece of crack resulted from ailurophile6 in about how DH had sex in 'Ice Men' with the same woman he drooled over in 'Inferno.' Oh hello, bunny. Have a carrot.


End file.
